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My name is Hallan Turrek. This is my blog.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Blog Banter 22: Lie Back and Think of England

I want you to notice
when I'm not around
You're so fuckin' special
I wish I was special
But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here.
Radiohead - Creep

If you're completely fresh to blogging, let me sum it up quickly: A blog banter is where a bunch of bloggers answer a simple question. CrazyKinux runs ours.

This month's topic is brought to us by L'Dene Bean of Nitpickin's who asks: Why, and how did you pick your corporation? Is your loyalty solid or just until a better placed organization "recruits" you. The shorter version: Who holds your Unshakable Fealty and why?

I hold my unshakable fealty. I think it's disingenuous to say that there's anyone else I'll follow no matter the cost and no matter the reason. That's just not true, I always question authority to an extent. You might not hear about it, but the square shaped peg justifications are always finding their way to the square shaped holes in my head. If that hole's a circle, then you may hear about it.

I find it a bit easier than the average highly competent person to accept though, that there are simply things that I do not know, and that I can expect certain people to make the right decisions without my help.

I do tend migrate to leadership positions for that very reason though. I want to make sure my input is included in the decision making process, because ultimately I like to know that the information provided is being acted upon properly.

So what's does that mean? Does that mean I'd flip sides at a convenient time? No. I might leave if things are going terribly, and I know they won't get any better, but not until I've tried very hard to make things work. I wouldn't join the other side until quite a bit of time has passed though, and I wouldn't harm my old corpmates on the way out.

It's just not in my nature to be disloyal to people. I hold a personal sense of honor about my actions, in life. There isn't some ingame me that's separate from myself. There's me, at a computer, playing a game. So the friendships I've made are rock solid. Even if I haven't talked to you in years, you've got my loyalty(and if you've hurt me, you've got my anger, forever). The ins and outs of how I treat people from my past are so complex they almost deserve a whole other blog post.

Suffice to say that I remember everyone and everything almost as well now as I did when we parted, and leave it at that. People get very hurt when I don't stay in contact with them, but that doesn't mean they don't have my loyalty. In my mind, I might as well have talked to you yesterday.

This means I still remember with vivid clarity that a guy called LTRichard scouted me into the waiting arms of a Burn Eden CynoAlt(piloted by PsychoticTurtle) because he was mad I'd brought Burn Eden down on his head. He shouldn't have done that. My Brutix made it back to the gate, and I didn't engage the Covert Cyno fitted Recon despite the smack he talked in local. So I got away, and that was that. That was in July of 09. But I remember, and always will.

I have never yet, in eve or any other game shown that kind of disloyalty to someone who trusted me. It's not in my nature. But really, if you've wronged a corp, or an alliance... isn't it possible that it's got someone like me in there somewhere... just waiting for the right moment to fuck you over back? It's not only possible, it's likely.

Some food for thought.

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