Do Overs

Steady hands, just take the wheel...
Every glance is killing me,
Time to make one last appeal ,
For the life I lead.

Stop and stare,
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere,
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared,
But I've become what I can't be.

Stop and stare,
You start to wonder why you're here not there,
And you'd give anything to get what's fair,
But fair ain't what you really need,
Oh, can you see what I see.
One Republic - Stop and Stare

The cloning companies tell you that you don't die. I'm not so sure about that. I mean, if anything we just die more than the average person. I don't know if non-capsuleers can understand.

How do you get used to the terror? There's something ingrained in each of our brains that says when you're dying to do everything in your power to stop it. The one time I've lost a clone, I was struggling inside my grave for twenty seconds before it finally popped.

The pod itself kills you, ironically enough. As soon as the hull of the capsule is breached for any reason it copies your brain and transmits it to the new clone. Design wise it makes sense, but it doesn't alleviate the fear you feel every time you drop down and jack in.

So what does that mean to you? A lot of capsuleers tell me that their biggest worry is the price of the implants in their heads. I've known people to lose a billion or more with their bodies.

I know I might die every time I fly, but if you're not prepared to lose your life, you're not prepared to be a pod pilot.

I suppose that's something they looked for when they did my training.

What I do know is that the threat of death didn't stop me from solo tackling a Vagabond until my friends could arrive to take it down.

It also didn't stop me from coming to the aid of another crazy corpmate who tackled a Hurricane alone in his Rifter, with my Rifter as his nearest backup. I'm glad I went.

So I guess what I'm saying is, if they tested me for it, I passed.