EVE Blog Banter #7: Syphilis Doesn't Count

Crazy Kinux says:

"Welcome to the seventh installment of the EVE Blog Banter , the monthly EVE Online blogging extravaganza created by CrazyKinux . The EVE Blog Banter involves an enthusiastic group of gaming bloggers, a common topic within the realm of EVE Online, and a week to post articles pertaining to the said topic. The resulting articles can either be short or quite extensive, either funny or dead serious, but are always a great fun to read! Any questions about the EVE Blog Banter should be directed here . Check out other EVE Blog Banter articles at the bottom of this post!

This month's topic comes to us from yours truly, and I ask: 'What 3 things haven't you done in EVE and why? Would you be willing to try one day? Why so? Why not?'"

"You know son, there's alot of things I haven't done,"
"Like what dad?"
"Catch an STD for starters,"
"Well that's uh... good,"
"Syphilis doesn't count does it?"
"Pretty sure it does,"
"Ahh well. Gallente hookers. What can ya do,"
Caldari State Public Service Announcement

Lets go into a bit more depth here and cover stuff I'd like to do in the future, but haven't just yet.

1: Factional Warfare. You may or may not notice this, but I'm pretty big on RP. So it's only natural that I'd like to go out and fight in factional warfare. I'd probably end up on the Gallente or Matar side of things, given my understanding of the universe. This is something I will eventually do, either on Hallan or an alt.

2: Fufill a mercenary contract. I dunno if most of you know this, but my intentions in Eve are to eventually run my own mercenary corporation. I suppose that brings me to three.

3: Run my own corporation. Good/Arms Inc. has been around for as long as I've been a pirate. But it's only filled with my alts. I want to one day turn it back over to Hallan and run it as a real corporation. I like leading people, and it is something I'll have fun doing.

Good day.

Other Banters:

• CrazyKinux's Musing, EVE Blog Banter #7: Eh, nobody told me you could do this in EVE!
• One Man and His Spaceship, Blog Banter 7 - Expanding My Horizon
  
• I am Keith Neilson, EVE Blog Banter #7 - What do you want to do today?
  
• Rifter Drifter, Blog Banter 7: Trinity
  
• Roc's Ramblings, Blog Banter #7 - The me I am not
  
• Morphisat's Blog, Eve Blog banter #7 - Treading waters unknown
  
• Sweet Little Bad Girl, Blog Banter 7 - Roads Not Followed
  
• A Mule in EvE, DD, defend against a gank & POS gunning
  
• Inner Sanctum of the Ninveah, Choices
  
• The Wandering Druid of Tranquility, "One, Two, Three...three things....hahahahaha"
  
• The Ralpha Dogs, Road Not Taken... Or Not
• Melindhra's Universe, EVE Blog Banter #7 - Where no one has gone before
• Life in Low Sec, Blog Banter #7: Possibilities
• EVE Guru, EVE Blog Banter 7
• Diary of a Pod Pilot, [OOC] EVE Blog Banter #7: Stones left unturned
• Flashfresh - The Pirate, EVE Blog Banter #7: This isn't me...
• Nefchast’s Gaming Blog, CrazyKinux’s EVE Blog Banter #7
• A Merry Life and a Short One, EVE Blog Banter #7: Syphilis Doesn't Count
• Rip Lacunae, Past & Future (Eve Blog Banter 7)
• Broadside, EVE Blag Banter #7: aspiration
• Into the Unknown, Eve Blog Banter #7: What haven’t I done?
• Diary of a Space Jokey, Blog Banter #7: So much to do, so little time
More coming as they are posted!!!

A Night

Just turn on with me and you're not alone,
Let's turn on and be not alone,
Gimme your hands cause you're wonderful,
Gimme your hands cause you're wonderful,
Oh gimme your hands.
Rock 'n Roll Suicide - David Bowie

"You found him?" Hallan rubbed his hands together over his empty glass.

"I found him," Korvan tipped his drink back and gulped it's contents.

"You know what I want right?"

"Unidentifiable, but alive,"

"Exactly. We'll edit the DNA records and..." Hallan looked up at Resika as she walked over to their table, "Hey babe," He reached out and took one of the drinks she carried.

Resika looked at the two men and raised her eyebrow, "Shop talk?"

"You'll be bored," Hallan said before sipping on his new glass.

"Try me," She said with a smile.

"Well, I'd just finished dueling an Omen in my Rifter," Hallan leaned back and looked at Korvan who just shook his head, "Ard calls out that he's narrowed down a Hulk inside an Arnstur wormhole, naturally I head over there and set up camp on the other side of the hole,"

"What does a wormhole look like?" Resika interupted, "My Bestower's never run into one,"

"It's really just a giant swirly thing," Korvan chimed in, "I found one myself up in Balginia,"

"Yeah, if you look really closely you can see what the system on the other side looks like," Hallan's glass was empty again already.

Resika looked at Hallan for a moment and then back at the glass, "I suppose you're going to be lazy again and go without,"

"Maybe," Hallan smiled at her as she stood and headed back to the bar.

"We'll change the DNA records to match this Torval Gumak charactor. He's wanted for what, rape?"

"He's a serial rapist," Korvan said with a frown, "Our guys grabbed him in Boundless yesterday,"

"And?"

"After a bit investigation, I put a bullet in his stomach and threw him in a fire,"

"Sounds about right," Hallan paused again as Resika returned with his drink, "You didn't have to do that, but I appreciate it,"

"Uh huh, you finished your story already didn't you?" She took a drink from her own glass and leaned on the table.

"Nah, I was just talking to Korvan about how he likes working for me,"

Korvan laughed and said "Chief Security Officer has such a nice ring to it. I can almost forget what a total piece of shit I work for."

"That's it," Hallan said while looking at the ceiling, "You are now vice president in charge of... Waste Management,"

"Shouldn't your new COO have a say in that kind of thing," Resika said with mock anger.

"Babe, I own all the stock," He motioned to the bar, "I own the property. Good/Arms Inc. is Hallan Turrek,"

Resika stuck her tongue out at Hallan who did the same while crossing his eyes.

Korvan looked around, "So what happened inside the wormhole,"

"Simple in, simple out, We killed the Hulk, popped the pod, and stole all his ore,"

"Big payout?" Korvan asked.

"Could be huge," Hallan said with a yawn.

"Ugh," Resika said, "Ok you were right," She walked over to Hallan, and bent over to kiss him on the cheek, "I'll be at your place,"

"Alright babe, I'll wrap up things here and head over," He pulled her in for a kiss and she put up a mock struggle.

Korvan looked over at another girl that he'd been glancing at all night. She was looking at him and smiling.

"I'll see ya," Resika said before turning to walk away.

Korvan turned back to Hallan as his eyes wandered to Resika's departing form, "My god that's a nice ass,"

"I know!"

Korvan adjusted in his seat and put his elbows on the table, "Hal, Why not just kill this guy?"

"Because he'll suffer more in a Minmatar prison,"

"But it's a pretty elaborate setup for such a small payoff,"

"It's what I want done. Cut out his tongue, take his feet, face and teeth. I want his hands. Wipe his identity away. Tomorrow he's going to be serial rapist Torval Gumak, and no one will want to help him with the pain you leave him with. He made the mistake of putting out a contract on me, I want him to remember how much of a mistake that is," Hallan finished his drink and stood up to put his coat on.

"One day you're going to have to let her in on all these horrible things you've done and have people do. She's a nice girl Hal,"

"That's why she can't know,"

Interview with Omber Zombie

Do you have a website and forum thread? If you've got links that would be good.
Website | Eve Forum Thread

So, how long have you been playing?
Omber Zombie the character was born on May 21, 2003, but I had been part of the EVE: Online beta program from beta 6 onwards.

What have you done in Eve during that time?
Pretty much everything. From my corporate history you can see I have been part of (and directed) corps focussed on both the industrial/science side of the game as well as the PvP side, I've pirated with m0o, helped create an alliance (The Big Blue), built outposts, brokered hundred's of millions of isk in bonds/shares/betting/

equipment, traded on markets, was part of the original CSM and this newest incarnation. As I said, pretty much everything.

What real life experiences do you have that will aid you in your elected position?
I was the president of the student council at my campus while at University, so that helps with understanding how meetings run and how minutes need to be written. Apart from that, nothing really.

What's your favourite thing to do in Eve?
Unfortunately due to the workload of CSM, my time has been limited lately, but my favourite part of the game is the complexity in the industrial side. Both from managing production flow from basic materials to end product, to trading the finished product on the markets. Making people explode is always fun too.

What changes do you believe could be made to make it easier to do that?
There are too many to put into a summary - but basically better interfaces in eve would remove a lot of the pain.

What do you think of the recent Bob/Goonswarm fiasco?
It is a game mechanic that has been there since the inception of the alliance system and I am surprised that BoB left it self open to it's abuse. I don't particularly like the mechanic itself, and CSM were asked to workshop some ideas around possible changes to it. My initial idea was:
Alliances should come in 2 flavours, Dictatorial or Democratic/Communist (call it whatever you like)

Dictatorial
CEO of Executor corp
* can add/remove member corps - 24 hours from button being pressed to take effect, can be cancelled at any time within that 24hours
* can disband alliance - 24 hours from button being pressed to take effect, can be cancelled at any time within that 24hours
* can set standings of Alliance

Directors of Executor Corp
* same abilities as CEO, but also requires at least 1 other director to approve the button click or the CEO to do so too. If more than 2 directors, the yes/no situation comes into effect that if you have more no's than yes's, the action doesn't go into effect. Yes/no votes can occur any time in the 24hour period after the action is started. CEO has overriding vote on any action.

Democratic/Communist/Whatever it's called
All actions bar standings require greater than 50% agreement from all CEO's in the alliance corps.

Do you have an opinion on the Renaming of KenZoku to Bob Reloaded?
As a member of the CSM, we were part of a discussion with the GM's regarding this. While I ca't go into specific details due to NDA restrictions, the general consensus of the CSM was for the GM's to follow protocol. As that protocol is basically "We don't rename people/corps/alliances" we didn't expect anything to change. A month later, the GM's decided to rename KenZoku to BoBR and after a public outcry, change it back to KenZoku. GM Grimmi came to the next CSM meeting after that to try and explain what happened. The GM's have an internal unofficial rule that if an entity asks for a name change within 1 week of something bad happening, they will look at it and change it as they deem fit. The problem here was that due to perceived bias to BoB, there was an internal debate among all the GM's and it took that long to happen - and after the community outrage, decided that the majority vote between the GM's in this case was wrong. The full minutes and transcript of that meeting can be found here.

What do you think of the re balancing of ECM?
ECM definately needed balancing - the weight of numbers of Rooks in fleets proved that alone. Whether the changes that have been made work as intended - time will tell. I think it's a step in the right direction though.

What do you think of the re balancing of Stealth Bombers?
This is something that both CSM 1 and 2 have been asking for and while it doesn't go to 100% of what was asked, a fair chunk of what was asked for has been implemented. The only thing I'm not sold on yet is the change to Torpedoes, but like the ECM changes, time will tell on that one.

Does it bother you that Veldspar is more profitable than any low sec minerals?
Not at all. One of the best things about EVE is that it has a player driven economy. If something is in demand, prices go up - it's pretty simple. However, both LaVista and I have been working with CCP to figure out how to rebalance loot drops recycling and ore distribution so that it is more even across the various security systems - IMHO middle band ores should be the main source of middle band minerals, and at the moment based on the data we have been given (which I need to point out is incomplete), it seems that most midband minerals are not coming from there. This is definitely a high priority issue.

What is the single largest imbalance in game, and how would you fix it?
I don't htink there is a single issue that is the largest, if for example you look at the issue of Sovereignty - there is no single problem with it, it tends to be a bunch of smaller issues combining to create a larger one. There is no simple all-in-one fix for it, otherwise it would have been fixed already. However if you create a goal for it and then break down the steps needed to reach that goal, you can start to see what needs tobe fixed, and in what order. The problem with large issues like that is that fixing all those minor issues take time - and the longer it takes, the more other things in the game changes. I think that's one of the main things most people don't understand about eve - the simplest change in one area of the game can have massive follow on effects in totally unrelated parts of the game. As such, CCP are open to almost any idea from the player base for any perceived issue, the more options they have to look at, the faster they can figure out the jigsaw puzzle.

Anything to add?
I'd just like to wish all the other candidates good luck in the campaign, and I hope they can live up to the workload requested of them if they get elected. A lot of people look at the CSM and think "heh, I can do this in my sleep" but until you are actually involved it's impossible to understand just how much work goes into it. It's definitely not a holiday. I'd also like ot thank both you and your readers for their time in coming up with these questions, hopefully it will help those interested in the CSM to vote for the candidate that they think will do the best job looking out for their interests.

Also, to answer some of the questions asked in the comments section on your blog:

I would love to see some sort of "political" ideology definitions in those who are trying for the CSM.
I suppose I would be seen as having a Neoliberalistic ideology. While I understand the need for CCP to be the 'gods' of eve, things like the CSM allow the players to guide those 'gods' into directions that they think would be best for both current players of EVE and for new players. By having players electing their own representatives to the council means that level of control is in the player base's hands.

One of the benefits of a single-sharded "sandbox" MMOG is that what we do happens in the game, and that can be nearly anything. What effects should players have on the EVE storylines? Do you feel CCP should take steps to better reflect the news posts inside the game itself? Recent examples might include food shortages in a given region, or FW-related storylines.
This is actually a very hard question to answer. One of the most awesome things about the EVE universe is the backstory and the continuing storyline of the four major races and the 3 minor races (and I'm sure a few more to come). Allowing the playerbase direct access to effect those storylines is a dangerous thing if given without constraint, but conversely if given with restraint it feels like you have no real effect at all. As a former member of the volunteer Events Team, I can empathise with CCP in that the stance of 'if you allow players free reign, they will cock it up' There is nothing worse than working for a month to plan an event only to have a bunch of players completely uninterested in that event turn up and destroy it.
On the other hand - yes, i think there should be more involvement from the stories to the game. I.E. A corp announces that it has had some major technological breakthrough, then some of it's NPC trade goods prices should be affected. It's a small step, but as things like that are added to the game, i think it will become more immersive for the players that enjoy that side of the game.
In the end though - EVE is about the players making their own stories up, we shouldn't rely on CCP to make stories for us to be involved in.
See, I said it was a hard question :)

Currently, once your NPC faction standings drop below -2.0 (including skills), you are forever banned from that faction. Additionally, outside of agent access and KOS status, faction standing has little effect in the game. Do you think CCP should address the general issue of standings, and how so?
This is an issue being raised for discussion in this week's CSM meeting - standing is something that needs a serious look at as atm it has no real relevance except as a barrier to entry. Some previous ideas that have been thrown up for this is to player standing having an effect on system security status, socking fees, production/lab fees and a few other things like that. Personally I think the standing system as a whole needs a serious look at to see whether it's still the best system to use.

The respawn amount of ore (hope that makes sense) is very low. And with veldspar now being so popular, it's hard to find a belt (even in remote systems) that has not been vacuumed by a hulk / orca combo.
Do you think something should be done about this ? I dont think it has changed since 2004 and since then new mining vessels have been released that can clear a belt in a matter of hours...
Ore regeneration is something that needs to be looked at - and is as part of our look into the Veldspar issue asked above. There is no simple answer (like everything else), but the proposed system wide belts which you need to scan down was an interesting idea thrown around.

Question: What can you offer, if elected, to bring true transparency to Eve?
The honest answer is nothing. CSM can only provide answers that are given by CCP. If you don't trust CCP and it's Internal Affairs Department to police it's staff, than nothing the CSM does will be able to help you. All we can do as CSM members is ask CCP hard questions, but I think since the inception of the IA department, CCP have been very open about these things.

Do you believe that the CSM has been communicating effectively with the players that it represents. How do you think that this process could be improved?
Yes and no. There has definitely been an improvement as time has gone on, but in reality there is only so much information you can put out there that people will read. Recently the CSM has moved from an internally run wiki system to track issues to using the Evelopedia to track information. There was also a push to change what the CSM can ask and how the answers are communicated, so that the information is much more widely distributed (newsletters, front page news, media outlet distribution, EON etc.). It's a work in progress, and as new tools become available, the information will spread and evolve into something that is far more accessible.

A Day

In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.
Abraham Lincoln

"You have quite possibly the nicest ass I've ever seen," I laid in bed and watched Resika stand by the window. She covered the front of her with a blanket as she looked down at my hangar.

"This is where I'm supposed to giggle and tell you to shut up, right?" She backed away from the window and sat down on my bed, "I won't though, because you're right,"

I moved towards her on the bed, and brushed a strand of hair away from her mouth before I kissed her.

______________________

"Astarte on scan. No, Astarte is here!" Venom sounded a bit alarmed as the command ship came out of warp on top of her. I could hear her frustration and the familiar buzz of a warp scrambler activating over the comms.

"On my way," Nova spoke up on comms.

"I'll be there in a sec," Our Crusader pilot offered.

"I'm in warp," I said with a grin.

"Guys, I'm dying real fast,"

"He's got blasters, get away from them," My smile didn't last long as I heard the explosion.

"I'm dead guys, don't come in,"

"I'm landing," Nova's voice broke through her last comment.

"So'm I," I added hurriedly.

"Astarte Pointed," The Crusader said with a laugh.

"I'm pointed," Nova sounded concerned, "Oh wow guys, I'm going to die,"

Another explosion over the comms and in a minute two rupture were down.

"Hallan, Ravenesa, get out of there," Nova was concerned about the Crusader and my Ruptures.

"Yeah," I laughed out loud on comms, "That sounds like me,"

Ravenesa in his Crusader was having no trouble avoiding the Astarte's blasters, and the Hammerhead IIs were incapable of catching him. I was orbiting well outside of the Blaster range and was faster than the Command Ship. We were at a stalemate.

For minutes it continued on. He stopped running his speed mod, his capacitor must've been getting low because his armor started to trickle down. In a moment of brilliance he set his Hammerheads on me. I pulsed my MWD and set a full squad of Hobgoblins on one of them. It died swiftly and the remaining drones ran back to their bay.

Then the other shoe dropped and his backup finally arrived. A Falcon decloaked and jammed both of us. The Crusader pilot hung around but I aligned and warped away. As I left though, I noticed something curious. The other ships were leaving too.

Ravenesa laughed as he reported "They ran away,"

We scooped up our own loot and were amazed that we'd managed to scare a Command Ship and Falcon off fresh kills. Just another day in my life.

______________________

"Hal," Resika looked into my eyes as I lay with my head propped up and on my side, "What did you think about when he was cutting you,"

"Everything and nothing babe,"

She raised her eyebrow, "That doesn't make much sense,"

"Nothing about it did,"

She laid on her back and looked up at the ceiling, "Because some sanctimonious Minmatar leader called for a crusade against piracy?"

"You're Amarr babe, probably not best to be holding any pent up aggression against the Matar,"

"What we've done was more than enough to damn us for eternity. That'll be the punishment for the true believers," She shook her head and looked back at the ceiling, "I won't feel guilty for things I didn't do,"

"All I'm saying," I put my hand over hers, "Is that they're not bad. We're not good people. They have every right to want to put us away,"

"They'll do it again Hallan, and then what?"

"I've got plenty of contacts in the Republic. They like me. I've already found out exactly who in GIS put a contract on me, and I'll pay 'em a visit before this week is out,"

"What will you do then?"

I ran my hand down her side and smiled, "Live,"

Interview with Larkonis Trassler

Do you have a website and forum thread? If you've got links that would be good.

http://larkonisforcsm.com/blog/

So, how long have you been playing?

Nearly 4 years with a couple of longish breaks, but I've been there for all the major revisions in that time.

What have you done in Eve during that time?

Everything... I've mined, run missions, fought in large scale battles in 0.0, killed capitals, lost capitals, killed poses, lost poses, lofty scammed, can flipped, pirated, ransomed etc etc. I think my biggest achievement would be my corp Neo Spartans, a great bunch of reprobates.

What real life experiences do you have that will aid you in your elected position?

Politically... not many. At the tender age of 16 I ran for youth mayor in my city and came third in the election, not a bad showing if I say so myself (ISTR there being 8 candidates, not 3) and it taught me that a pair of breasts and some fluttering eye lashes will get you far in the world of politics.
I've served in the Army (hello ladies) and been to a couple of hot (and downright freezing) sandy places. If I can get my point across to a few dozen pot smoking Afghan National Army soldiers then I shouldn't have too many problems with the Devs (I hope).

What's your favorite thing to do in Eve?

Extract carebear tears... But seriously, it's some good old fashioned small gang/solo PVP that gets my bodily fluids going. Ganking haulers is all well and good but I do enjoy a good challenge now and again.

What changes do you believe could be made to make it easier to do that?

The ECM changes are a good start, but a solo player coming up against a small gang with a competant ECM pilot is still going to have a very hard time combating them. But I digress. I don't think there is much to be done to improve small gang warfare. It's human nature to strive to win and that means bringing more mates than the other side and having bigger rocks than the other side. Space bushido is all well and good... but at the end of the day most people would rather have a killmail with ten of their mates on than a lossmail with one person on it.

What do you think of the recent Bob/Goonswarm fiasco?

I think it's pretty cool that Goons found and exploited that mechanic. Should that mechanic be changed? Definately... for one man to destroy an entire alliance like that, well, it shouldn't have been allowed to happen. Still, a very good play by Goons (not that I have anything against BOB/Kenzoku).

Do you have an opinion on the Renaming of KenZoku to Bob Reloaded?

LOLCCP. I think there are times when the GMs are struck down with some sort of temporary retardation. This was a name change well after the Alliance was created (what was it, a month?), not to correct some lulzy spelling error (I'm no weeabo but Kenzoku isn't the worst Alliance name in the first place) and well, it's BOB for Christ's sake. After the T20 debacle they should have made some effort into researching the possible ramifications. Personally I don't care and I found the fallout on the forums to be quite spectacular. I do suspect that CCP was just trolling the game's population given that they rolled back the changes pretty quick.

What do you think of the re balancing of ECM?

A good start. The mechanic still needs a rebalance... above all some sort of stacking penalty.

What do you think of the re balancing of Stealth Bombers?

Looks cool, haven't tried them yet, but one friend commented that 'they made his dick hard' so I think they might work out ok.

Does it bother you that Veldspar is more profitable than any low sec minerals?

Absolutely. Two reasons for this (in my eyes) T1 meta 1 loot from missions and Drones. Obviously nothing can be done about drone loot without pissing off a lot of people, aside from maybe adjusting the refine rate so you get less mid ends and more lowends. I would like to see T1 Meta 1 loot removed from missions and rats though. That stuff can be produced and it also goes a long way towards 'rebalancing' level 4's where a small but significant chunk of income is earned.

What is the single largest imbalance in game, and how would you fix it?

I would like to say the Highsec/Lowsec risk reward ratio, but then I just look like someone out for easy kills. Though I have little experience of it the Sov mechanic really needs a look at. Currently it's pretty easy to hold space once you've taken it. Cyno Jammers up, bridging Titans around, having fun etc. I would at least like to see jump bridges and cyno jammers mutually exclusive. The idea that a Capital can circumvent the cyno jammer by using a bridge it pretty irritating. If you want caps for your home defence then keep them there or plan an op to lower the jammer and get them all in. With the addition of Jump Freighters, Jump Bridges etc etc 0.0 has become far far too small. It's no longer the wild west frontier that it used to be.

Anything to add?


Vote for me.

Futility

It was cold blooded murder. But I can live with that.
Tom Doniphon - The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance

Continued from Contentment

"Did you hear me Turrek?"

I look up with my one good eye and start to laugh, "I heard you,"

"So tell me , what are the defense strategies for the Evati branches of the Bastards,"

"Yeah, that's why I'm laughing. I mean come on, you think you're so smart. So regimented. Your trap didn't have to be so perfect you know. You'd have got me with half the effort.,"

"Flattery will get you nowhere. I'm taking your eyelids,"

"Oh great, so I get to look at your ugly face all day,"

____________________________

"I will know the answer,"

"You don't want the answer," I try to blink away the blood in my eye. The irritation is killing me now.

"I want to know!" He wields the bloody knife above his head.

"There aren't any," Water is coming from my eye now. I can't stop it anymore.

"Not good enough," He grins wider and puts the knife in my mouth.

____________________________

I can't talk anymore through the blood. He knows I can't talk. He chuckles to himself and puts the knife to my throat. This is it.

I've gotten them loose.

My head smashes into his nose. I stand up and grab his knife hand. He's not very strong. I rip his arm down and twist it behind him. The knife deftly slips from his fingers and I grab it just as quickly. His other arm begins to move wildly. I bring the knife to his throat and move it from ear to ear.

We both fall to the ground, his soft gurgling a welcome respite from his constant blathering. I roll away and wait for his friends to come.

No one comes.

I cry.

____________________________

"That's incredible. Who was he?" Mynxee cocks her head to the side and her braids sway freely.

"I have no idea. Probably an independant contractor for GIS," I take a sip of my Quafe.

"You don't look any worse for wear," She says with a grin.

"New clone," I say plainly.

"So you didn't tell him anything?" Her voice is soft at this point. She's curious.

I look up with a grin, "Are you kidding me? I told him everything I knew about our defense plans for this station,"

"We don't have any defense plans for this station," She smiles and sips her own drink.

I stand up and put on my hat, "I know,"

Interview with Chip Mintago

Download Hallan Turrek/Chip Mintago - Interview

May've found an upload solution. Let me know how it works and what you think.

Contentment

We’re starting a book club? What, are you trying to torture me?
Malcolm Reynolds - Firefly

My eyes won't open. Why won't they open? Ahh there we go.

My eyes can survey the room but I can't move my head or my arms. Feet are a no go. They've got me bound up pretty good. This is uh, this is not good. The room is dark except for a bright light directly above me. I can see the walls are white, and extremely clean.

"Hallan Turrek," A voice from behind me says. It's a calm voice. Very cold. I try to turn my head even though I can't. My neck just wrenches and pain comes over me.

"It's very secure, if you were wondering," The man walks slowly and deliberately beside me. I can just see him in my peripheral vision now. He's tall, dark hair. The light shining above me is reflecting off the bald spot on his head as he leans down to my shoulder.

"So, why am I here?" I speak very slowly. My mouth doesn't want to move yet. The drugs are still coursing through my veins.

"Long story short, we needed some information. It always comes down to that doesn't it?" The man moves in front of me. He has a knife in his hand. It's a slender blade with a sharply angled hook at the end, "I want you to tell me everything you know about the Bastards defense plans of Kaalikoata's Evati branches,"

I roll my eyes as he leans in closer. I can smell his breath and see his rotten teeth as he smiles. "You know, it gives me great pleasure to say that I have no idea," My mouth moves so sluggishly again, but I say it.

His smiles widens, "I won't lie Hallan. Me too," He plunges the knife's hook under my skin at the inside of my right elbow and begins to drag it down my arm.

I scream.

Leaked To The Media

I had uh, recent discussion between myself and Chip Mintago, one of the many candidates for CSM I'm interviewing. It was leaked yesterday by the Scope. I provide the transcript in full here, so you may see that no underhanded tactics are being used.

Hallan Turrek > Ahoy hoy.
Chip Mintago > Hi Hallan
Chip Mintago > How're things?
Hallan Turrek > Do you perhaps have time between orphanage shakedowns for an interview?
Hallan Turrek > Good, you?
Chip Mintago > That whole business was blown way out of proportion
Hallan Turrek > I have a horrible cold, so unfortunately we'll have to do the interview in text form, by the way.
Hallan Turrek > I'm sure it was Mr. Mintago.
Hallan Turrek > The Orphans surely goaded you into that.
Chip Mintago > I can't do it today, actually, I'm afraid. Can we set a date for the 15th?
Hallan Turrek > What time?
Chip Mintago > What would suit you?
Chip Mintago > If this is the right sort of time, 01:00 eve time would work for me
Hallan Turrek > It is not actually.
Hallan Turrek > During the week my times change.
Hallan Turrek > 5:00 Eve Time would be ideal for me on on the 15th.
Chip Mintago > One second while I check something...
Chip Mintago > Ok, yes, that would be great
Chip Mintago > Thanks for this!
Hallan Turrek > Alright. No problem. Hope you have an enjoyable day.
Hallan Turrek > About the Jovian childrens fun though.
Hallan Turrek > How tall can I get a child?
Chip Mintago > Current limit is about two meters
Hallan Turrek > What's the price?
Chip Mintago > It's a donation, even 10000 isk a month will help them buy essential air filtration equipment
Hallan Turrek > I'm not sure I can afford that just yet.
Chip Mintago > It's just you know, well childhood is a very special and in many cases very expensive time
Chip Mintago > I'll tell you what I can do
Chip Mintago > Hold there for a moment and I'll find you something almost as good...
Chip Mintago > Sal passed out on the "sofa" here, I'm just waking him up
Chip Mintago > Since you're such a fan of our charity
Chip Mintago > Which I hasten to point out is not just a front as people unscrupulously suggest
*Hallan Turrek nods
Chip Mintago > I've sent along some stock in the company, and a few of its subsidiaries
Chip Mintago > Did it come through?
Hallan Turrek > Why yes it did.
Chip Mintago > See the best thing for you, is that if you pay your cameraman here or the catering guy in stock
Chip Mintago > There's no tax
Chip Mintago > It's a win, win
Chip Mintago > They can just exchange it for goods and services and don't nobody pays any tax
Hallan Turrek > Fantastic, While of course our discourse over your CSM position will be untainted by any undue influence, I appreciate any and all gifts.
Hallan Turrek > As I too am a legitimate businessman.
Chip Mintago > Tell you what though, kid
Chip Mintago > You wouldn't believe what I heard a guy say the other day
*Hallan Turrek nods
Chip Mintago > This is a guy in Jita I heard -- clearly he has no idea about democracy and freedom of the press
Chip Mintago > Things you and I are so passionate about
Hallan Turrek > Absolutely. Steadfastly resolved I am.
Chip Mintago > This is going to show you how different some people are
Chip Mintago > You'll be appalled
Chip Mintago > This guy I heard actually say he'd send you 100 million isk for any of the other, non-Mintago, candidates you arrange to look bad in the interviews.
Chip Mintago > You believe the nerve of that guy? That attacks both of our reputations.
Chip Mintago > According to him it would just show up mysterious in your account
*Hallan Turrek nods
Hallan Turrek > That is interesting.
Chip Mintago > Well, I told that joker where to go, I can tell you
Hallan Turrek > As uh, as you should of course.
Chip Mintago > Damn straight. So tell you what, let's do something about it! Here let me send you 100 million, and you can use it to pay for the publicity to counteract that sort of character assassination
Chip Mintago > A donation to protect the freedom of the press
Hallan Turrek > Oh, that sounds like a great idea.
Chip Mintago > Good! We'll show him
Hallan Turrek > Such a good gentlemen to be doing your part to ensure these charactor attacks do not go unanswered.
Chip Mintago > I cannot bear to see lady impartiality bruised
Hallan Turrek > But of course.
Chip Mintago > I take it it came through ok?
Hallan Turrek > It did. I appreciate that.
Chip Mintago > Hey that's not for you. That's for democracy
Hallan Turrek > I understand.
Hallan Turrek > Well Mr. Mintago, we're still on for the 15th correct?
Chip Mintago > Absolutely kid. It's great to meet another citizen with the courage to do what's right
Chip Mintago > 5:00
Hallan Turrek > Yes indeed.

Restraint

Let the wind take me away,
As cars go rolling past,
The sun is down at last,
I walk along and pray,
That the wind takes me away.

And the wind will make me fly,
Above the bustling crowds,
On past the soaring clouds,
Higher than birds and sky,
There the wind will make me fly.

Let the wind take me away,
I push against the night,
And imagine I'm in flight,
I walk the road and say,
Will you please take me away?
Hallan Turrek - Liberation

"Just go over and say hello," Korvan said before sipping on his drink.

"Yeah, that sounds like me," Hallan said while putting his head down.

The By Jove was bustling and Hallan nodded to the bartender again. He set a glass in front of him and poured out a yellowish drink.

Korvan shook his head, "What are you in high school? Quafe? Getting drunk will do wonders for your social life man,"

Hallan downed the glass and muttered "Whatever,"

"When's the last time you got laid anyhow?"

"A year ago I think. And only cause the Caldari Navy ordered me too,"

"Wow. No wonder you're depressed," Korvan stood up and walked over to the crowd of women that Hallan had been eyeballing all night. Hallan almost stood up to follow him but turned around and winced instead.

"Hey," Korvan said to one of them, "My friend over there thinks you're cute,"

The girl looked over at Hallan, who was turning redder by the minute, "Shy?"

"You have no idea," Korvan walked back over to Hallan with a smile on his face. The girl followed him and sat down on the bar stool next to him.

"So. What's your name, shy boy," She leaned over towards him.

"Hallan, uh, Hallan Turrek," He looked over at Korvan with a puzzled look on his face.

"I'm gonna go Hal. I'll be around tomorrow," Korvan waved for the Bartender. The man walked over as Korvan pulled out his Credichip.

Hallan put his own hand out and waved the bartender away, "You really think I'm going to let you pay at a bar I own? Seriously. Just be safe,"

Korvan chuckled and turned around, "Hey whatever man. I gotta offer," Korvan walked towards the door and chuckled to himself.

The girl looked at Hallan intently as he took a sip of his drink again. She tilted her head to the side and said "You own the bar?" She smiled softly, "My name's Resika,"

Hallan shot a look at his quickly departing friend "Dammit Korvan,"

___________________________

Hallan woke up and rolled over. She'd already left, and he picked up the note that she'd left him on the bed.

"Sorry, Have a new job I gotta get to. My number's on the back. Call me," Hallan smiled and stood up, looking out over his hangar.

Let The Glory Out

You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I'll rise.
Maya Angelou - Still I Rise

I imagine the replying comm chatter was pretty calm at this point.

"Just point him and try to kill him, he's been doing this all day. He'll make it to the gate and go through."

_____________________________

I really had been doing it all day. GIS started the shenanigans with a couple of ships sitting on our station. A Nightmare and a Drake. Ships with tanks that could easily hold up until the cavalry arrived. We refused to engage them, but I decided to try some shenanigans of my own.

I darted through the Arnher gate, saw a GIS gate camp on the other side and warped away. None of them were small enough ships to point me, and I counted that as a good thing. I then followed through to Egmar when I spotted a new unaffiliated gate camp. Some corp named Shrodingers Question was camping the Egmar side of the Egmar/Arnher gate.

I almost felt like throwing out a warning, but decided against it. It probably didn't matter, they must've figured I was a part of the GIS squad, because they jumped through when I uncloaked. They continued on into the meat grinder at the other gate, and both sides lost a couple of ships. The engagement was short and to the point.

I warped back to the gate and into Arnher and started to play games. I initially wasn't willing to chance reapproaching on the heavily camped side, but the other side had only an Ishtar. The thing could easily kill me, but not before I made it back to the gate. So I started to see-saw back and forth. Each time they locked me and fired. After about twenty minutes they brought in two interceptors, so I began to reapproach instead of warping on that side as well.

After about thirty minutes I started to hear murmering of tech two frigates camping the Egmar/Arnher gate. I had a funny thought.

I headed to the other gate, and started to repeat my insanity. No one came to the aid of the two frigates on the other side, they'd point me, I'd go through. A couple of our guys got into place on their own, and finally I changed my plans.

I reapproached the gate again, the Crusader and Ishkur approached me at high speed. They hoped to hit a double web I suppose, but this time I approached the Crusader as well and activated a scram and web of my own. RodneyStar began to warp to me. He landed and piled on the damage.

I know the Crusader pilot is screaming to his mates camping the other gate, his mates in space, his mates docked up in system, and his mates in Evati to help him.

I imagine the replying comm chatter was pretty calm at this point.

"Just point him and try to kill him, he's been doing this all day. He'll make it to the gate and go through."

For a few long seconds, no one showed up. I kept applying damage as long as I could. Finally I died. I warped my pod away and did my best to remain silent as I eagerly awaited an update from Rodney.

"Crusader is down, I'm burning away from the Ishkur," Short and oh so sweet, and followed quickly by "I made it, but a huge fleet landed just as I warped away,"

I laughed, alot. I warped my pod back through the gate, both gatecamps in fact. I docked up and stared at a new Rifter with a smug smile on my face.

Under the nose of over twenty GIS and ComStar pilots, in their own system, we traded a Rifter for a Crusader. I call that a win.

Good Day.

Wanderlust - Part 2 of 2

Well I know, I miss more than hit
With a face that was launched to sink
An' I seldom feel, the bright relief
It's been the Worst Day Since Yesterday
Flogging Molly - The Worst Day Since Yesterday

Part 1

The cloak held.

I was quite thankful of that fact as I arrived and saw a number of strange ships flying around. They bristled with weaponry and moved at insane speeds. I just as quickly turned tail and ran back to the wormhole.

Unfortunately upon arriving I discovered it had dissapeared. I still don't know why. I dropped my probes and began to search for an exit.

After a few hours, another wormhole appeared. I entered.


The system was amazingly beautiful, but still outside of known space. I was just happy to be far away from the monstrosities in the last system. I dropped probes again and began to look for a new wormhole.

Another few hours later, I found it and exited into known space. Into high security Amarr space. Twenty Six jumps from Evati.

I began the long but hurried trek home as faction police chased me from system to system. I finally arrived and sighed.

Exploration is hard.

OOC: I'm particularly proud of that screenshot I took as well. Made it into a desktop background.

OOC: Update - April 2009

Everything's going great. I've had to make a few adjustments but I can still pirate and not have horrible lag.

Added tags to last month's posts and I believe that's how I'll do it from now on.

Last month I posted a guide to the new scan probing system and got to 629 peak visits from a previous all time peak of 110. Apparently I need to do more of that. Look to see more guides out of me, if for nothing else than the traffic.

I'm still taking suggestions for interview questions for the CSM candidates.

And if you enjoy the blog, be sure to follow it on the right hand side there. If you don't have a blogger account, that's fine. If you do though, go ahead and take a second to follow it.

And four links I think you'll appreciate:

Flashfresh replies to a comment.

Watch this.

Shae Tiann is bored.

Mynxee is amazed.

Good day.

Gotcha

There's a government whip
Cracked across your back
Where the order of the day
Is don't listen, attack
See the blood run down
In your bushwhacked town
Revolution is the gimmick
Of a jokerless clown
Another volley's just the ammo
For the taxman's gun
Flogging Molly - Requiem for a Dying Song

Yeah right. Figured I'd hit you guys with an April Fools a bit early. I'm never going back!