This month's topic comes to us from me, Ga'len at The Wandering Druid of Tranquility. He asks: "What new game mechanic or mechanics would you like to see created and brought into the EVE Online universe and how would this be incorporated into the current game universe? Be specific and give details, this is not meant to be a 'nerf this, boost my game play' post like we see on the EVE forums."
Eight words: Bear Cavalry... In Space, Oh yeah.
Did you just crap your pants? I just crapped my pants.
I know what you're thinking, Bears can't survive in space. Try to tell them that, I think you'll be pleasantly surprised. More accurately I think you'd be dead. Don't fuck with the Bear Cavalry.
They're so awesome I'm capitalizing it every time I say it so I don't incur their wrath.
Many people would ask here, "Ok, I'm sold, Bear Cavalry sounds pretty damned awesome for a game about internet spaceships, but how would it move around?"
It'd be propelled on pure awesome. I have an artists rendition of what that would look like.
It makes a lovely desktop background as well. Bear Cavalry are just that damn good.
Now how do you balance this in a way that makes the game still playable, since they're like great and stuff. It's simple, make them really hard to get. I know what you're thinking: you make things in Eve, not get them. But lets be honest with ourselves, is there any component in Eve that could make up such an awesome construct?
It's like one quarter pornstar hooker, one quarter flying sharks, one quarter pirate ninja zombie robots, and four quarters awesome. How do you quantify that? You don't.
We'll just say that when you reach a certain level of awesome ingame(as judged by a panel of Pornstar Hookers), a Bear Cavalry bursts forth fully formed from like your forehead or something.
I'm going to go clean up my pants now.