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My name is Hallan Turrek. This is my blog.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

EVE Blog Banter #8: In the Year of Our Awesome

Welcome to the eighth installment of the EVE Blog Banter , the monthly EVE Online blogging extravaganza created by CrazyKinux. The EVE Blog Banter involves an enthusiastic group of gaming bloggers, a common topic within the realm of EVE Online, and a week to post articles pertaining to the said topic. The resulting articles can either be short or quite extensive, either funny or dead serious, but are always a great fun to read! Any questions about the EVE Blog Banter should be directed here . Check out other EVE Blog Banter articles at the bottom of this post!

This month's topic comes to us from me, Ga'len at The Wandering Druid of Tranquility. He asks: "What new game mechanic or mechanics would you like to see created and brought into the EVE Online universe and how would this be incorporated into the current game universe? Be specific and give details, this is not meant to be a 'nerf this, boost my game play' post like we see on the EVE forums."

Eight words: Bear Cavalry... In Space, Oh yeah.

Did you just crap your pants? I just crapped my pants.

I know what you're thinking, Bears can't survive in space. Try to tell them that, I think you'll be pleasantly surprised. More accurately I think you'd be dead. Don't fuck with the Bear Cavalry.

They're so awesome I'm capitalizing it every time I say it so I don't incur their wrath.

Many people would ask here, "Ok, I'm sold, Bear Cavalry sounds pretty damned awesome for a game about internet spaceships, but how would it move around?"

It'd be propelled on pure awesome. I have an artists rendition of what that would look like.

It makes a lovely desktop background as well. Bear Cavalry are just that damn good.

Now how do you balance this in a way that makes the game still playable, since they're like great and stuff. It's simple, make them really hard to get. I know what you're thinking: you make things in Eve, not get them. But lets be honest with ourselves, is there any component in Eve that could make up such an awesome construct?

It's like one quarter pornstar hooker, one quarter flying sharks, one quarter pirate ninja zombie robots, and four quarters awesome. How do you quantify that? You don't.

We'll just say that when you reach a certain level of awesome ingame(as judged by a panel of Pornstar Hookers), a Bear Cavalry bursts forth fully formed from like your forehead or something.

I'm going to go clean up my pants now.

Other Banters:
  • CrazyKinux's Musing, EVE Blog Banter #8: Care for a little game of SecWars?
  • The Wandering Druid of Tranquility, Wow, that new thing is so shiny!!!
  • I am Keith Nielson, EVE Blog Banter #8 - Return of the Top Gun
  • Once More from the Beginning, 8th EVE Blog Banter May 2009 Edition
  • A merry life and a short one, EVE Blog Banter #8: In the Year of Our Awesome
  • Inner Sanctum of the Ninveah, Planets
  • Helicity Boson, Bantering the blog
  • Achernar, Unique adventures
  • Ecliptic Rift, OOC: EVE Blog Banter 8: Standings and secondary factions
  • The New Edener, EVE Blog Banter #8
  • Journey to New Eden, Eve Blog Banter #8: What new mechanic should be added to Eve?
  • Life, The Universe and Everything, Blog banter 8: mentorship
  • EVE Guru, EBB 8: Yarr! Prepare to be boarded!
  • The Ralpha Dogs, Greed Is Good, Greed Works
  • Rifter Drifter, Blog Banter 8: Strategic Gunnery
  • A Mule in EVE, Expanding EVE
  • Letrange's EvE Blog, 8th Blog Banter
  • Roc's Ramblings, Blog Banter #8
  • The Nude Nerd, Blog Banter #8
  • Scop's Log, Blog Banter #8: "We're caught in a tractor beam! It's pulling us in!"
  • Speed Fairy, EVE Blog Banter #8: Charisma Tanking
  • Industrialist with Teeth, EVE Blog Banter #8: It’s Like Tetris for OCD People
  • Diary of a Pod Pilot, EVE blog banter #8: Killing in the name of
  • Talk Unfraid, Physical Communications

    1. Had some spacecake, didn't you?

    2. Did someone say bears? *looks around in fear*

    3. Early bird, catches the worm, eh?! :p

    4. Yeah, I apologize CK, just couldn't fit it into my schedule any other way.

    5. HAHA...your post made me laugh quite a bit!

    6. What is the solution to every problem? Bear cavalry. Because bear cavalry is the new 42.

    7. Kodiak Bear FTW!!!